2017 Review

2017 has been both a full and a challenging year.

While the unexpected - both good and hard - has marked these months, I have a genuine gratefulness for the growth and freedom it’s brought me. Earlier this year I spoke a lot about how ‘every no has led to a better yes’ and while I do still think this is true and possible, that hasn’t quite been the story of this year for me. The ‘no-s’ have simply remained a ‘no’. They could be ‘not yets’ - I’m still not sure. But either way, I’m sitting with several unmet expectations to sort through.

I know I’ve given my best, yet even so lots of my goals and dreams for the year remain largely unmet. I have felt like a fool. I’ve given up. I’ve surrendered. I’ve cried. I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions between caring so much and not caring at all. I’ve responded nobly and I’ve responded immaturely. And somehow this whole process feels really important and necessary in shaping me, preparing me for what’s next. While I have no clue what exactly is next for me, I hold to the hope that I’m not a fool for trying and I’m not a fool for dreaming (and yes, I’ve just written a song about this!). I’m seeing that though I’m left with unmet expectations, this year has also given me lots of unexpected treasures.

Gratitude is the best vehicle for growth. So on that note, I’m choosing to celebrate and share some highlights and blessings from 2017, they didn't all work but we tried and we did them and I think that's worth celebrating. Here’s to focusing on the ‘yes-es’, there’s been some good ones this year. Here’s to pressing on in 2018. Choosing hope. Learning to live in greater freedom with open hands, a life led by and for my Maker. This life, my calling and gifts are not my own. This is enough.