LYRICS & STORIES
Peace On Earth: Lyrics
I HEARD THE BELLS
Words: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1864
Music: John B. Calkin, 1872
Arrangement+Chorus:
Kellie Haddock + John Arndt, 2019
I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men
I thought how, as the day had come
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men
Peace, Peace
And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace, Peace
Peace, Peace
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the truth prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men."
Peace, Peace
Peace, Peace
IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR
Words: Edmond H. Sears
Music: Richard S. Willis
Arrangement+Chorus: Kellie Haddock, 2019
It came upon a midnight clear
That glorious song of old
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold
"Peace on the earth, good will to men
From heaven's all gracious King;"
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing:
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!
Still through the cloven skies they came
With peaceful wings unfurled
And still their heavenly music floats
O'er all the weary world
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing;
And ever o'er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing:
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!
O ye, beneath life's crushing load
Whose forms are bending low
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow
Look now for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
O rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing:
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!
BRIGHT CHRISTMAS
© Kellie Haddock 2019
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
Where the children always smile
And we don't have to travel miles
Tryin' to arrive in style, oh...
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
Presents wrapped with bows
We're all goin' with the flow
No one tryin' to steal the show, oh...
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
But the brightest Christmas
Is any Christmas spent with you
Do--------, Do----------
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
With our coats hung at the door
Who could ask for anything more
Hark! The herald angels sing! Oh...
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
But the brightest Christmas
Is any Christmas spent with you
Do--------, Do----------
Sand or snow, either way goes
Just tie it up with a pretty bow
Norman Rockwell as my guide
Everything will be just right
Fire roasted marshmallows
And Rudolph with his runny nose
Little ones cryin' in Santa's lap
And everyone needs to take a nap!
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
I'm dreamin' of a bright Christmas
But the brightest Christmas
Is any Christmas spent with you
Do--------, Do----------
GOD REST YOU MERRY GENTLEMEN
Traditional Carol
Arrangement: Kellie Haddock, 2019
God rest you merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's pow'r
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy, oh...
Oh..... Oh....
From God our heavenly Father
A blessed angel came
And unto certain shepherds
Brought tidings of the same
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by name
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy, oh...
Oh..... Oh....
Now to the Lord sing praises
All you within this place
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace
This holy tide of Christmas
Filled with love and grace
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy, oh...
Oh..... Oh....
THE FIRST NOEL
Traditional Carol
Arrangement: Kellie Haddock, 2019
The first Noel
The angel did say
Was to certain poor
Shepherds in fields as they lay
In fields where they
Lay keeping their sheep
On a cold winter's night
That was so deep
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel
They looked up
And saw a star
Shining in the east
Beyond them far
And to the earth
It gave great light
And so it continued
Both day and night
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel
And by the light
Of that same star
Three wisemen came
From country far
To seek for a King
Was their intent
And to follow that star
Wherever it went
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel
Then let us all
With one accord
Sing praises to
Our heavenly Lord
That hath made heaven
And earth of nought
And with His blood
Mankind has bought
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel
ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH
Traditional Carol
Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o’er the plains
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Shepherd, why this jubilee
Why your joyous songs prolong
What the glad some tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Come to Bethlehem and see
Him whose birth the angels sing
Come adore on bended knee
Christ the Lord, the newborn King
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER
Traditional Carol
Arrangement: Kellie Haddock, 2019
In the bleak mid winter, frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow
In the bleak midwinter, long ago
Our God, heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign
In the bleak mid winter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ
What else can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part
Yet what else I can I give Him?
I'll give Him my heart
What else I can I give Him?
I'll give Him my heart
ALWAYS WINTER Pt. 1
© Kellie Haddock 2019
It's so cold outside
The fire's gone out
Feels like the whole world
Is asleep but me
And I don't wanna go outside
It's wintertime
And all these silver trees
Feel like they're mocking me
Always winter, but never Christmas
No, never Christmas
Where is the light
Always winter, but never Christmas
No, never Christmas
Send me some warmth tonight, oh
Send me some warmth tonight, oh
This cold winter night
Runs so deep
And all these gloomy clouds
Feel like they'll never leave
Oh........ Mmm.........
Always winter, but never Christmas
No, never Christmas
Where is the light
Always winter, but never Christmas
No, never Christmas
Send me some warmth tonight, oh
Send me some warmth tonight, oh
ALWAYS WINTER Pt. 2
© Kellie Haddock 2019
Will Christmas ever come
There's such a freeze over me
The chill runs deep
And no one's home but me
Will Christmas ever come
There's such a freeze over me
The chill runs deep
And no one's home but me
Oh send me some warmth tonight
Is there some warmth to find
Send me some warmth tonight
Is there some warmth to find
Oh............ Oh............
I see a little light
Way off in the sky
Could it be the star
To end this winter night
Is this the star
I've waited for
To open up the door to hope
Is there a savior
To end this winter
Oh can it be
Oh can it be real
Is winter melting
Is Christmas here
Oh can it be
Oh can it be real
Oh......Oh......
SILENT NIGHT
Traditional Carol
Silent Night, Holy Night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent Night, Holy Night,
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from Heaven afar
Heavenly Hosts sing Alleluia
Christ our Savior is born
Christ our Savior is born!
Silent night, Holy night
Son of God, Love's pure light,
Radiant beams from Thy Holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth
O COME EMMANUEL
Traditional Carol
Arrangement: Kellie Haddock, 2019
O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appears
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel
O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel
O come, Thou Wisdom from on high
And order all things far and nigh
To us the path of knowledge show
And cause us in her ways to go
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel
O come, Desire of nations, bind
All peoples in one heart and mind
Bid envy strife and quarrels cease
Fill the whole world with heavens peace
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel
O HOLY NIGHT
Traditional Carol
Arrangement:
Kellie Haddock + John Arndt, 2019
Oh holy night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth
The thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night, oh holy night
Oh night divine
Led by the light
Of a Faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming
Here came the wise men from Orient land
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend
He knows our need
Our weakness is no stranger
Behold your King
Before Him lowly bend
Behold your King
Before Him lowly bend
Truly He taught us
To love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord
Oh praise His name forever
His power and glory
Ever, ever more proclaim
His power and glory
Ever more proclaim!
BETHLEHEM
© Kellie Haddock 2019
Oh sweet town of Bethlehem
Where love came down from heaven
How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift was given
Through thy dark streets shineth
An everlasting light
The hopes and fears
Of all the years
Are met in thee tonight
For Christ was born in Bethlehem
A place of holy birth
Awake thy long and dreamless sleep
Bring peace to men on earth
Through thy dark streets shineth
An everlasting light
The hopes and fears
Of all the years
Are met in thee tonight
Weary world
Rejoice tonight
Love has come
Spread its light
The hopes and fears
Of all the years
The hopes and fears
Of all the years
The hopes and fears
Of all the years
Are met in thee
Are met in thee
Weary world
Rejoice tonight
Love has come
Spread its light
The hopes and fears
Of all the years
Are met in thee tonight
Wild Love: Lyrics
Wild
(c) Kellie Haddock 2017
He is wild like a siren
Like a mighty water’s roar
He is comin' with a fury
Beatin' on your door
He is wild, unrelenting
Closer than your skin
He’s a thriller and he’s here
He keeps gettin' in
Feel the chills run down your spine
Feel the chills run down your spine
Ready or not here he comes
Unstoppable wild love
Enters risk and mystery
They’re on the dance floor
With intrigue
He’s wild … He’s wild …
You feel him in your heartbeat
A thunder in your chest
His love, a tsunami
You cannot brace against
He’s wild … He’s wild …
A ferocious pursuit
Permeating space
He’s hunting for you
He can’t be tamed
Wanna look away
Yet drawn to stay
You think he might be good
Not sure if he’s safe
Feel the chills run down your spine
Feel the chills run down your spine
Ready or not here He comes
Unstoppable wild love
Enters risk and mystery
They’re on the dance floor
With intrigue
Chorus
Pressing in on all sides
Pressing in and loving wild (2x)
Lay Down Your Arms
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
You’re lonely
But you want to be alone
You’re tired
But you don’t want to sleep
Cowering in the corner
Ready for a fight
Thinking everyone
Is on the other side
Everything in you wants to fight
War won't make this right
Lay down your arms
Lay down your arms
It’s hard for you
To find a common ground
Fighting to defend
Your own bit of ground
You raise your voice
Trying to be heard
But all your efforts
Are only making noise
Everything in you wants to fight
War won't make this right
Lay down your arms
Lay down your arms
You sit here
Trying to grow thicker skin
So when your hit again
It won’t sink in
There’s little to lose
And so much to gain
Raise the flag, stop the pain
Turn your swords into shovels
Turn your spears into hoes
Instead of fighting
Cultivate growth
There is love, there is hope
Lay down your arms
Love has the last word
More Than Diamonds
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
I love your hugs
More than diamonds
I love your smile
Like the sand loves your toes
I love your hugs
More than ice cream
I love your smile
Like freckles love your nose
Like squirrels love the trees
Like summer loves the breeze
Like jokes love funny
Like bees love honey
I love you… I love you
I love your hugs
More than diamonds
I love your smile
Like dandelions love to fly
Like clouds love the sky
Like apples love a pie
Like glitter loves squiggles
Like tickles love giggles
I love you… I love you…
I love you… I love you…
Like soup loves bowls
Like butter loves rolls
Like drums love the beat
Like our eyes love to meet
Like feet love socks
Like pockets love rocks
Like phones love calls
Like a free for all
I love you... I love you...
I love you… I love you…
More than diamonds!!!
White Bird
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
White bird, you're in so many
Stories that I've heard
How do you float across the fields
Finding hearts longing to be healed
Oh white bird are you even real
White bird, do you carry
Love upon your wings
Do your eyes see all things
Is there good news
Good news you bring
Oh white bird now you've come to me
Filled with the light of the Son
Brilliant light is in your song
Dawn is rising over me
Your birdsong unveiling mystery
White bird I couldn't know
When you'll come or where you'll go
But right now you're close
Bearing gifts of hope, gifts of peace
Oh White bird you're restoring me
Chorus
It's a new day… It’s a new day…
Oh white bird
Chorus
Quiet, Quiet
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
Fireflies light the sky
Bid farewell to the day
The air is calm, a healing balm
The sky is turning grey
It's quiet quiet, it's quiet quiet
Echo over me under stars and trees
Gentle lullabies in the skies and seas
Fears lose their hold on me
It’s quiet quiet, it's quiet quiet
It’s quiet quiet, it's quiet quiet
Silence echoes on the hills
Summons sanctuary
And all around seems to pause
In reverence of the beauty
It's quiet quiet, it's quiet quiet
Chorus
Awakening mystery
The silence is not empty
It's full of God, it’s full of life
Washing over me
It's quiet quiet, it's quiet quiet
It's quiet quiet quiet
Chorus
Fears lose their hold on me
Fears lose their hold on me
Fears lose their hold on me
It's quiet quiet, it's quiet quiet
Beauty Was There
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
As we gathered to talk and pray
Our hearts were numb from the pain
It hung like a dark cloud in the room
We were hurt and broken, confused
Instead of singing there was silence
Our heart strings throbbed
Like harp strings
We slid down the wall
And closed our eyes
Breathed in, breathed out a sigh
You were there with us then
You are here with us now
You’ve always been faithful
Always been beautiful
You’re with us in the battles
Standing in the shrapnel
We’ve been shelled out from the war
We’ve all been broken, all been torn
Our tired eyes strain to see
The smallest glimpse of eternity
Chorus
Beauty was there all along
Beauty was there singing its song
Protesting darkness
Till darkness was gone
Love Falls
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
Where are you running to
Why don’t you run to me
What are you hiding from
Let it bring you to your knees
When I hear you weep
My Love falls over you
It’s not the way
You thought it’d be
You’ll never be the same
You want to scream to wake up
You’re holding all the blame
When I hear you weep
My Love falls over you
Love was lost, it broke your smile
You tore up all your gowns
Love was lost, it broke your smile
You tore up all your gowns
When I hear you weep
My Love falls over you
I can hear you weep
Feel My Love fall over you
My love falls over you
My love falls / Feel my love
Roots
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
Against the stars’ glittering
The branches traced out delicately
Speechless in pain and glory
This synonym for beauty
The longing, the adoring
Welling up inside of me
I trace my fingers through the lines
Of roots we dug from these old vines
Growing deep into the stream
Brimming up through depth of being
From what’s unseen
Comes all good things
The tree is planted for steady growth
Though daily change, little it shows
Instead in fear of death forbade
In rest and time it gives its shade
Chorus
The fruit comes not from branches work
Though proudly branches glory took
Effortless the branch’s brine
Spawn of life up from the vine
Chorus
Delicate Dance
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
It's a delicate dance
When you and I are moving together
Sometimes it hurts our feet
But other days it's sweet
Our bare feet on the rug, oh...
Sometimes I might step on your toes
Uh - oh
My good intentions didn't show
Oh no
We’re learning how to dance
We’re learning how to dance, oh…
We can over analyze
Until the mood fully dies
The distance between us
Can feel like miles
As you stare at me
across the room, oh...
I moved too fast, I didn't know
Uh - oh
That you were hurting it didn't show
Oh no
Chorus
Me in step with you in step with me
In step with you in step with me
(Me) in step with you in step with me
in step with you in step with me, oh…
Let's dim the lights
We're both in the mood
So baby take my hand
And let's move, oh…
Spotlights
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
Broken city, battered, unpitied
It’s left you feeling used
Your towers once stood tall
Rubies fell from your walls
Deep you feel the bruise
So deep you feel the bruise
Spotlights dissipating doubt
Spotlights piercing through the clouds
Spotlights spotlights spotlights
Do you see where you are going
Do you see where you are going
Though you're weary
You’re still walking
The pilgrimage of love
You're not giving up
Chorus
Glorious wonders yet to unfold
In the shadows
Where your faith is grown
Grieving all you’ve had to let go
Gaining more than you’ve ever known
Chorus
More About Love
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
What if you could be free
From all the wounds you’ve carried
They’ve held you down for so long
And made you feel you were wrong
You were made for goodness
For sharing in abundance
Are you somewhere resigning
To fear and insecurity
What if it’s less about being right
What if it’s more about spreading light
Think of all you could take hold of
Living like it's more about love
Are you a contradiction
Misguided in conviction
Belittled in the ideals
Losing sight of what is real
Chorus
You were made for love
Love is your perfect alibi
You were made for love
Lay down your defenses
You’ve been your own worst critic
Lay hold of the freedom
As love is your beacon
You were made for love
Self Portrait
(C) Kellie Haddock 2017
You walked the line
A thousand times
Seen the good and the bad
From both sides
A depth's been sown
Your heart has grown
In triumph and trial
You've been known
You are loved
You are loved
You're the quietest rebel I know
You won't live your life for the show
You're creatively complex and unique
A kaleidoscope of beauty
You are loved
You are loved
Such divine artwork
When you were formed
What you could not earn
Was already yours
You're free to be bravely you
Because of this great truth
You are loved
You are loved
Wild Love: Song Stories
Wild
So much of life can’t be explained and can’t be tamed. This song is my wrestling with this force that is larger than myself and larger than life. I call this force God; you might have a different name. The thought of God invokes trembling. He is to be feared. He can do anything He wants, and he allows us to live in a world where anything can and does happen, a world that is often unfair and unjust. Yet this same God pursues me with a love so overwhelming, nothing braces me against it. His love is a force that I’ve felt present always. Even in my darkest of grief and anger, I somehow knew I was not alone. And this is what makes God so intriguing to me. This wild love keeps me coming back for more.
Lay Down Your Arms
As an artist partner with Preemptive Love Coalition, I had the immense privilege of seeing their work firsthand when I visited Iraq in the fall of 2015. Their founder Jeremy Courtney’s book Preemptive Love largely shaped my heart and birthed this song. Please visit PLC's website to learn more about their work. There IS love. There IS hope.
More Than Diamonds
I wrote this song after one of those sweet summer days playing outside with our three kids. Life rarely—well, never—looks like a Norman Rockwell painting. But this day came close. I remember kisses, tickles and giggles as we tucked the kids in that night. A few days later, I was lying on the floor with our two-year-old under a fort we’d just built, my face next to his. I said, “I love you.” He leaned in (I thought he was going to kiss me) and he said, “I love jelly beans!” And that sealed it. I HAD to write this song! This song is for anyone who’s felt that their heart may burst because they love someone so much!
White Bird
I’ve always loved birds and I wanted to write a song to explore what it is I find so fascinating and inspiring about them. But as I dug deeper, I found that birds are a symbol to me for the deeper reality of those things in life that I can't see or understand. We see the effects of wind, but can’t see the wind itself. Birds too point me to a reality I can’t see with my eyes but know in my heart. This song is a celebration of that mystery and the hope that we are all a part of a larger story and a grander reality than what our tangible ‘everyday’ experience might suggest. It's an invitation to enter into this bigger story, to step into this mystery where anything is possible.
Quiet, Quiet
Each summer, we gather with several other families for a week of fun together. I wrote the first half of this song during one of those family vacations to the mountains. When we (finally!) got the kids tucked into bed, all the adults sat quietly in rocking chairs on the porch watching fireflies. The quiet after a full day outdoors with kids was the most beautiful sound. Yet, it was full of mountain sounds, and it was a richer quiet for my heart than mere silence void of any sound. This quiet felt like a healing balm going deep into my soul and refreshing its weariness. Nature does this so powerfully. This song is a celebration of that quiet.
I wrote the second half in a castle in Austria days before I was to kiss my husband goodbye and get on a plane bound for Iraq. I was playing a piano at the top of the castle's spire overlooking the hills (that, yes, were alive with the sound of music). That evening, as the sun set upon the piano, I felt the fear I held for the trip ahead begin to melt away. The more times I sang over and over, "fears lose their hold on me" the more that became my reality. This song has been a healing balm for me, and my hope is that this song and this entire record touches your heart in those deep places where you long for healing. That way, you too can sing, "fears lose their hold on me."
Beauty Was There
This song begins three days after the car accident that killed my first husband, AJ. A few days after the initial shock of the accident, the doctor told me that our baby, if he survived, would likely never walk, talk or show emotion as a result of his injuries from the wreck. A group of friends and family gathered at AJ's parents house, speechless from grief. The pain so thick.
I wrote this song ten years later, looking back through all the years: So very many hard times, days that seemed impossible and never-ending. Tears that seemed pitifully insufficient to express the deep grief I felt. Being angry. Being brutally honest. Persevering to stay present, to grieve in healthy ways. To not run and hide from the emotions, but to keep feeling, even if feeling meant hurting.
That heart work eventually led to healing. I'm not even sure how or when; it was so gradual. But looking back, it was overwhelming to realizing that I was not made whole again on my own. I was never alone in my grief, not even for a moment, not even on the nights when I cried myself to sleep or cried myself awake. This song is a celebration of that faithfulness. It's an awakening to a reality that was hard to see in the midst of the pain but so evidently clear through the lens of hindsight: Beauty was there all along, protesting darkness till darkness was gone.
Love Falls
I once heard someone define intercession as literally stepping into and feeling fully what someone else is experiencing. This song is my intercession for others who are hurting.
I wrote this song one week while my husband was traveling for work. I had (finally) gotten all the kids tucked in and plopped down in front of my computer to decompress. I checked email and at the top of the list was a message from a friend saying that her cousin’s baby had drowned in their pool. My heart hit the floor. Everything stopped. I wept with a depth and intensity for this mom as if it were my own child. I felt the pain in such deep places in my heart. It was a pain on behalf of another. That pain, that intercession, became a melody, and over the next few days, that melody became this song.
Roots
It’s so debilitating to compare ourselves with others. It either leads to pride or it leaves us feeling inadequate and discontent. I was attending a conference and I found myself comparing myself to everyone around me, sinking deeper into that hole by the hour. I was ready to press the eject button on the conference and go get a (gluten free) pizza, when suddenly, an image of an oak tree came to my mind. It was so random that it got my attention. I began thinking about how, in many ways, we are meant to be like trees. A tree is not concerned about the other trees that are growing around it. It simply grows where it’s planted. It grows. Often, instead of tending to my growth, I spend my time protecting myself against hurt, damage or death—often in ways that hinder living. I fail to realize that I too am planted to grow and flourish in life, even when that growth is painful. On the other hand, sometimes I worry that I'm not growing, or that I'm not growing fast enough. If I sit and watch a tree grow every hour—or even every day—and judge its value by what I see, it will be pretty discouraging. You can’t see a tree grow overnight. But if I came back 5, 10, 15 years later I’d be amazed at the changes in the tree.
So there I was, convicted of how I quickly judge my worth by my productivity and growth in a day. Yet for an oak, growth takes time and stands the test of time. Then another thing struck me as poignant: The very thing that causes the tree to grow cannot be seen. The roots grow deep into the ground. The roots are what enables the tree to grow high and majestic. It’s what’s unseen that enables and produces the seen. I need to be careful to cultivate and nurture the things I do that no one else sees. The time I spend in prayer, reading, practicing the piano, writing in my journal, serving others, cleaning the house… the list goes on. All of those unseen things matter. They amount to growth and strength of character. Those unseen things shape me into who I am made to be. So in a sense, this song helped me get back to my "roots" and become more mindful of the deeper truth.
Delicate Dance
(Okay, mom, if you’re reading, you might want to skip this one.) This song is about sex. But unlike many songs about sex, this song is not about the act itself, but about the relationship—about all the little daily interactions that lead (or don’t lead) to the act. It’s about marriage, the dance of the business and ordinary with love and passion. Relationships are nothing like the movies make them seem. They take work. And this is good work to get to do. It’s messy, we step on each other’s toes, it’s not always romantic. But I've found that marriage is so worth every moment. So we keep showing up. We keep dancing.
Spotlights
I love hearing stories, particularly stories from people who are older than me. People who’ve gone before, experienced more, who have wisdom to share, who’ve overcome. We need each others' stories. They point the way forward for us. Each one illuminates the otherwise dark and daunting path we call life. These stories—some which can be traced from the beginning of time and some which recount something that happened five minutes ago—are all spotlights that help us see where we are going.
More About Love
One New Year's Eve, my sister-in-law and I were talking about all the pressure women and moms feel in our culture. There seem to be a million ways we’re doing it wrong and a million more ways to tell us how to do it right—often all contradicting each other. The rat race seems so complicated and we both felt like it’s not even the race we want to be in anyway. My sister-in-law and I talked about how so many of the rules we give ourselves and the expectations we place on others are arbitrary. Our interactions can be so much more simple if they're summed up with one word: LOVE. If what we are doing is done in love then it will be okay. We get so focused on being "right" that we often miss the bigger picture of what is "loving." And now, as I parent, I say this to our kids all the time. It’s less about being right and more about being loving. How would our homes, schools, politics and churches be different if we really lived as though we were more concerned with loving others well instead of being right?
Self Portrait
I tried to name this song something else, but each person that saw the original title said I must keep it. Writing this song began as a simple exercise: If a painter can paint a self portrait, could a songwriter write a self portrait? I began thinking about themes in my life others had pointed out over the years; about my personality, my experiences. This quickly grew into more of a juxtaposition between how others saw me and how I saw myself. Which then led into being about how I wanted to see myself. So I’m not fully comfortable owning the title of this song. But I do think the realities in this song are true for each and every one of us. This is how each of us are viewed. So maybe this song, in a sense, can be each of our own self portraits.
